Anyone who has been hanging out at my blog for awhile knows that my brain knows no bounds when it comes to your comments. This is what led to the Webcam for Writers Debacle. You guys give me dangeous ideas...
But I can't resist this one. The lovely Carolina brought up yesterday the idea of a reality show with writers and what they'd have to do to make the show actually interesting. Apparently she thought I'd be up for the job. Which, hey, you want to give me a reality series? Sure, I'll do it.
But since no one has actually offered me a tv contract within the last 24 hrs, I decided to invent my own show! :-)
The Real Writers: Episode 1
This is the true story...of 7 writers....picked to live in a house...and write together and have their lives taped...to find out what happens when writers stop procrastinating...and start to write...The Real Writers!
Meet Luke, en route to the house, carrying nothing but a knapsack and a pad of paper.
Luke: Uh hi, uh...my name's uh...Luke and...I'm uh...well I don't really believe in definitions. I mean, how can you possibly define the micro-cosmic way my brain connects to the ethereal on a macro-cosmic level to create...to create...uh...words. Words... words... words. Yeah. So um, pretty excited to be here and stuff and...you know I guess you could say I write literary fiction. Been working on my opus, this one book for the last 15 years. I'll probably never finish. Yeah, so... Excited to meet my roommates. I think... Would love to discuss Proust when they get here.
And coming around the corner is....GINA!
Gina: AAAAH! OMG! I am SO excited to be here, LOL, OMG I can't believe it! I'm walking down the street and I think I see my roomie! I do! I do see my roomie! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Rooooo-miiiie! *waves vigorously*
Luke: The sky is a bluer blue, a darkened blue, a blue blue...AH! Words! Curses.
Gina: Rooomie! OMG I see you! I see you!
Gina takes off on a run and nearly trips the camera man over.
Luke: *looks up* Huh? Uh...what......are you...are you my...
Luke's cut off when Gina flies on top of him knocking him to the ground. His note pad flies into the street.
Luke: MY WORDS!
Gina: Oh that little bit of paper? I'll get it Roomie. What's your name.*she helps Luke stand up*
Gina retrieves the note pad.
Luke: I...uh...well...my name is...thing is...
Gina: My name's Gina. I heart books. Can't you remember you're own name?
Luke: Yes. It's just...There's just so many words in my head...
Gina: *looks at the note pad* Why are you writing on that thing anyway? Where's your lap top?
Luke: *glares* You mean a stupid machine!?!?
Gina: Hahahahahaha! OMG! You are sooooooo funny. What are you, a comedic writer or something? Do you blog? Tweet? Facebook? Myspace? Linked? Youtube?
Luke: No. I do not. I can't waste my time on such nonsense. I write Literary Fiction. And my name's Luke.
Gina: Literary Luke! Oh I like it. Alliteration... I dig it.
Luke: *looks defeated and horror stricken, hangs head low* You write young adult paranormal romance, don't you?
Gina: *shakes head vigorously* My book is called, Midnight! Like Twilight, only later. Do you want to live in the same room with me? We can swap manicures. Are you metro?
Luke:....
Gina: Ooooh I think I see another Roomie coming! SQUEEEE!
To be continued...
Haha, wow this is great! I'm eagerly looking forward to the next installment!
ReplyDelete(I'm also looking forward to someone daring you to make a video of this one too!)
Hahahaha! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteFrankie, you so totally rock! :-)
ReplyDeleteThat was so funny - I'm still laughing. Love it.
ReplyDeleteWhat!?!?! No #windinherhaaaiiiirrrr as she runs to greet her roomies?
ReplyDeleteHahahaha. Now THIS is a show I'd want to be on. I'd be the writer poisoning other writer's with my ink. I mean, not really. I just thought I'd throw that out there in case you needed a murder mystery a la Melrose Place.
ReplyDelete......I am literally speechless.
ReplyDeleteOMG I, like, have no words!
I love it! This is something I would watch every week.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaaah! "Are you metro?" Priceless.
ReplyDeleteOf course you've got this all scripted already in your head, but I really hope you're throwing in a gothic horror angst dude (or chick), a picture book author, and, uh, Bob Dole. Yeah. That would work!
Then you could have all kinds of sexual tension, and some almost kissing scenes, and some love-at-first-sight scenes, and...
Ooh! Ooh! Something like this:
Luke: (standing very close to Corinne, goth chick) I, um... you're... uh. I mean, what I think is that... uh...
Corinne: What are you saying, man? Spit it out. (brushes dyed-black hair out of her eyes with a be-spider-ringed hand)
Luke: I mean, you're, uh... Your lips are, like... black. They're black.
Corinne: So? I wear black lipstick. So what? (purses lips) Like it?
Luke: It's black... They're black, I mean. As night, or the inside of a walnut before it's opened, or, um... Black like pitch, or ink, or... um...
Corinne: Dude, are we gonna make out or what?
Luke: What? Uh... Bye! (runs for door).
This is too funny. What's especially odd is that I was just thinking about the same thing this morning. I think there needs to be a writerly version of America's Next Top Model -- little writerly exercises with the winner getting an agent.
ReplyDeleteI don't know who would watch -- um, besides us -- but I think I should get to pitch it to Bravo. :)
OMG-Are you trying to tempt me?!?!?!? Why could I TOTALLY see this being you and Simon if you guys were just a teensy bit more exaggerated (well, if Simon were anyway) And you guys live near each other so you could totally make this happen. And Simon is always right on the fringes of getting involved in our blog wars. OMG I WANT TO SEE THIS MADE!!!!!
ReplyDelete*Rubs hands together, contemplating future dares*
(Though I agree with Marybeth. #windinmyhaaaaiiiirrrr totally should've been in there.)
(Uh-oh)
ReplyDeletelmao, now I'm really nervous to see what the romance writer is like because there is bound to be one, right?
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to meet the next 5!!
ReplyDeleteI really, really hope there's a fanfic writer in there. Oh jeez.
And I would not only WATCH this show, I would audition to be on it. Though I'm sure I wouldn't make it because I don't shower/move/do anything interesting when I write.
Oh wow Frankie!
ReplyDeleteThat was AWESOME!
Humor is such a difficult thing for me to write and you make it look effortless.
Thank you for the great laugh and writing!
RKCharron
xoxo
Kat, thank you! and oh no, I hope no one dares me to make this.
ReplyDeleteLarissa, Glad you enjoyed, you're welcome.
Shannon O-Aww thanks!
Mary-Yay Im glad, thank you!
Marybeth, Ooook Ill find a way to put #windintheirhaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiir
Sarah, LOL omg you would come and start sooooo much drama. Love it.
Mireyah-whoa, I made you speechless, hehe.
Mariah-Awesome bc there will be another episode.
Simon--OMG why don't you just write the script, you are tooooo funny. I'm totally making Corinne one of the cast mates and yes there will be a picture book writer, one who rhymes:-)
Amber--yes go and pitch this to Bravo, make it happen!
Shannon M-Hahahaha no way! I don't think you'll dare me to do this. You'll come up with something way more original. Besides, you havent even met the flash fiction writer castmate yet. But Simon, I'd look out. You still owe us the wiggly chair dance to BArry White.
Roni---hehehehehe the romance writer:-)We shall see.
Heather, fanfic will finds it way in there I think too:-)
I love the ideas you guys are giving me!!
RK--awww thanks soooo much! I'm so glad it comes across that way! Whew. I had no idea if this would be funny or not. So yay!
I'm going to have to follow Heather's request for a fanfic writer with a request for a "blue" fanfic writer, perhaps wearing an "I grok Spock shirt..."
ReplyDeleteKimberly, ok, by popular demand there will be a fanfic storyline.
ReplyDeleteOh wow! I love it! "My book is called Midnight. It's like Twilight, only later." Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally see Luke as an over-the-top Simon! Can't wait for episode 2!
Hahahahaha! This is Hilarious!
ReplyDelete"My book is called Midnight, like Twilight, only later"! HA! Love that! Great reality show, Frankie! :D
ReplyDelete~Ella
Courtney, Kelly, and Ella, yayayayayayay! Thank you!!! And wait till you see the character I have in mind for Simon...
ReplyDeleteIs now an appropriate time to say, "Ohcrap!"?
ReplyDeleteLMAO. Sorry I'm so behind on this. I"m gonna go "watch" the other episodes so I can catch up.
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up with this stuff. ;)
Simon, oooh yeah!
ReplyDeleteKaren, yay thanks that makes me so glad!
This is SO funny. I LOVE Luke. No life obviously, takes his writing very seriously, too seriously to ever finish anything. And the sad thing is is that Gina probably makes a mint off her simplistic nonsense. Glad there's much more of this. :)
ReplyDelete